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|Thursday, December 30th, 2004|
|11:00 at night.
Hi Journal. I wanted to say first that I hope Jennie got her Christmas present I sent...if she hasn't, it's floating around in space somewhere (some bin at the post office) and Jennie's missing a Christmas present. I haven't even called Corey. I know he called but things are too busy. Work is busy and Dad had another surgery this year--two hernias repaired. So, I'm dinner lady, nurse lady, and work lady during the day.
Um. I'm not making excuses for myself; just busy. Christmas was busy but nice. We had goose instead of duck this year and it was a letdown, for sure. I went that night to a friend's house and the very next morning went riding! It was great! I got to ride Chris' newest four wheeler and we spent the whole day finding mud and puddles and nasty trails. Good fun!! I went to work that monday morning after Christmas a little hungover but glad for the weekend.
I guess that's all I have to spew. Work is busy--it seems like my day is consumed by it. But, I'm saving for another bike so I figure this is worth my while. I can't wait.
I wonder how Josie's doing. I wonder if Lisa's moved in? Ack. I need to call. I'm such a lousy friend.
Anyway, ah. I can't sleep tonight. I work tomorrow. Blah. Current Mood: blank
|Saturday, October 2nd, 2004|
|Oh, you know. This and that.
Well, well. You know who I got to talk to today and yesterday? Corey! Somehow, talking to him again is soothing. It's nice to talk to a guy that just keeps on talkin'...I interject a few things now and then, but he pretty much does all the talking. I like that. I like to listen.
I miss my mom tonight, is that strange? I have these nights now and again where it just hits me that she's not here. My dad listens to all my problems like a good dad should but he's not Mom. I love him, though. I am blessed, that I should have such a wonderful listener, advise-dispenser, and friend.
I wonder about Lynda. I hope she got herself some.
|Monday, September 27th, 2004|
|Fog this morning.
How sad...it looks as though Wendi has taken all of us old friends off of her friends list. Ah-well. We're better off without her, I think. I don't check this much or write in here often at all but I have since recently seeing my best friend, Lynda, and getting to see the edible and delectable Jennie and Jamie. I had such a good time seeing my friend and getting to know her second child. It was awesome to see Corey and his little girl, too!
But now that she's gone, it's back to the friggin' job search!
|Monday, April 12th, 2004|
I just realized I haven't even THOUGHT about livejournal in quite some time...and it's really my only link to Wendi and Jennie. Even though I know I have the phone, I'm just not the type to pick it up. I think about them often, but never call.
I'm restless tonight. I wanted to go out with my friends tonight...but even though I know I have a standing invitation to these things, I don't want to just show up. I could call...but, there again is my phone problem. Anyway. I'm restless about school tomorrow. My first day of class last week was awful. My teacher asked around the class when we first got in what we planned on narrowing our degree in and what we wanted to do with it when we got out. Everyone in the class gave some bs answer or an actual desire, but when she got to me I told her, "I don't know!". She then told me in front of everyone that 40,000 dollars was a hell of a lot of money to spend on an "I don't know" and that when I got out I would be working for Kinkos if I didn't find some motivation and discover what I wanted. She even told me I should leave. It was horrible. I went home crying. Now, I really don't want to go to class tomorrow. I also don't want to do the assigned homework because she's horrible. I don't want her to think me a coward...but I don't have any desire to pay to sit and listen to her lecture me about what I should spend my money on. I will talk to someone tomorrow about transferring. I think I might be too late for that, unfortunatly. I might just have to cowgirl up and finish with this horrible class. On the bright side, though, tomorrow I have a class with a really cool teacher. He's 87 years old! I get to do a lot of drawing and painting. I'm stoked.
My good friend Kelly is leaving and moving to Idaho on Wednesday morning. I hung out with her today, but that will be the last time I see her. :( I like Kelly. She's a good friend.
Ezra's paintball field opened this last saturday. He worked his ass off to get it done and it looks great. He's got the best field in the county...he'll do really well, I think. The opening game wasn't all that huge, but it'll only get better. I'm so proud of him!!
Anyway, ho-hum. I hope Jennie, Jamie, Joe, Wendi, Josie, Corey, Leo, Chloe and all else are well. Current Mood: restless
|Sunday, January 11th, 2004|
|Ghads, the family life!!!
Okay, answer me this ladies: Why is it that once a woman has one baby, she suddenly craves another one when one is simply enough?! I'll never understand it, I guess, until I have a baby, but that scares me plenty!!! (I'm not talking about anyone in particular, btw.) I went on a date last night with a friend of mine, Brett. You know how many babies that guy wants??!! SEVEN. *gasps* Seven!! He'd be a happy man with seven!! How does a person put seven kids through college? Jiminy. I hope he finds a good mormon woman who doesn't mind pumping out seven kids to make him happy. Yeesh.
Anyhow, in other news, the date went really well! I had such a good time! I'd go on another, I guess...but then we're bordering on "getting the wrong impression" and I don't know if I'm up for that.
I'm getting odd vibes from my friends about this date, anyhow. They tell me to be wary of him, but that he's a really nice guy. Okee? I dunno. I need to just stay out of the dating scene in this circle. Dammit!
Welp. Better shower. Ken's supposed to show up sooner or later to go to the dump and help me out. I gotta give the dog a bath...and fix The Dad somethin' to eat. Current Mood: geeky
|Tuesday, January 6th, 2004|
|Why can I not sleep?
I guess sleep eludes me tonight. It's just about 5 in the morning and still I'm laying in bed rolling around. I guess I'm a little excited--I'm finally getting a motorcycle!! Well, rather, I have the okay to go and look for another one. This one will be an older junkie, but it'll be fun and I'll be able to ride again! Yay! I can't believe how much I CRAVE to ride. I found a little kawasaki on the internet that I might be able to afford. We'll see. Later on today I'll go to Bent Bike to check and see if they have anything too. That, and there's a guy...ah, but there's always a guy. At least that thing with Brandon is all fixed up. We hung out, got a good chat, and that was good. He's gone back to Idaho.
Perhaps another reason I can't sleep is the fact that I smoked with dad tonight. We don't do that often, but tonight I was up for it. I made a wonderful dinner (if I do say so myself) and ate a lot of it...plus a few truffles afterwards, too. I felt a little gluttonous after that.
I just can't wait to put on my helmet and gloves and go riding! I'm a little afraid of the hill now and I might have to go all the way around the house to avoid having to stop and make that left turn at night. I don't want to repeat the first rear-ending.
Today is Shelly's birthday so I think I'm going to go spend some money and buy her a huge bouqet of flowers. She deserves it; she's a cool lady.
I started running again--only because I think I'm going to be participating in a 10k race in two weeks and I want to be able to keep up with my friend. Actually, without sounding like I'm bragging, I don't think I'll have too much trouble keeping up. But. We'll see. My legs are sure sore and my abs and back are feeling the pressure as well.
Dad is doing exceptionally well. On the other hand, Grandma is doing terribly. Dad and I wonder if she'll last this year. She surprises us most of the time, though. I just worry for her. I think tomorrow I'll go and see how she's faring--and I think I'll be bringing her to the doctors.
I feel as though I'm ranting...barfing up all the stuff in my head so that I can catch a nap! Current Mood: awake
|Monday, December 22nd, 2003|
Okay, well. I'm not sure what to think, really. A friend of mine, a guy I really, really like tells me yesterday to call and we'll hang out. So, this morning, I call and ask if he wants to do something today and, sure! It'd be fun! Call me later, cuz I'm working on my car. Okay, says I. I call back, later, and he's at his sister's house making Christmas presents. He'll finish up and call me later....later comes, at about 9:45pm when I've given up all kinds of ideas of going out. He doesn't seem like he even knows I wanted to hang out today. He tells me that we could hang out tomorrow, he's sorry, he's going to bed, blah, blah. I'm a little pissed. Could've called me sooner. Now, I ask. This guy is hot, like a 9 in my book, gorgeous. He's awesome to hang around with. Should I expect this guy is out of my league and forget it, blow him off tomorrow? He calls me all the time, we talk, he's wonderful, he's really nice, he's mormon--had to add that--and beside the fact he's mormon, I think I really want to get to know him. I'm thinking he probably doesn't really care to get to know me, or doesn't care because everyone else around him is really important but that girl Laura whom he talks to now and then.
Ah, well. Current Mood: contemplative
|Thursday, December 18th, 2003|
|lots of garbage floating in my noggin'.
Alright well, tomorrow's the big day. I'm not worried, really. Dad's big surgery tomorrow. Coincedently, tomorrow is my last day of class and I have three whole weeks off!! *does happy dance*
I should be asleep right now, but I can't. Crystal was a dear and bought me starbucks today...and that got me right going. Ezra and I went to see The Lord of the Rings the first second it came out at 12:00 wednesday morning. It was good!! ...a bit sappy, but good. I had a good time. My sleep schedule is completely messed up. So Jennie, Wendi, when are we going to to laugh at holdiay shoppers? Everybody's busy at this point, though. Everybody's got shopping to do.
I feel a bit restless tonight. I think my journal sounds as such. I'm just worried a bit for the ol' man. I have to get up in four hours to drive him to the hospital. First stop in the mornin'--starbucks. Love that place.
hmmm, well yes. I hope everyone is having a dandy Christmas time, holday, yule, whatever.
The room's a mess here, whatdddyaknow. I feel like eating. Ahhh! Can't stop wierd thoughts! Current Mood: restless
|Monday, December 8th, 2003|
I can't wait for finals to be over with and for my Christmas break to start!!!
I had the most interesting weekend experience on Sunday...and I have a feeling that I should be wierded out by it, but I'm not. I feel as though I shared something with one of my friends and became closer still after that. I could talk to Joe about it since I think he'd understand...or even perhaps Kevin...but both of those boys seem to not be around anymore.
Woohoo, I'm so stoked. Ezra and I are going to go "pluck" myself a tree. We were thinking of heading up into the mountains to get one, or going to a u-cut place. I wasn't going to get a tree, but he convinced me.
I feel bad for Wendi who was the victim of some stupid jackass' idea of a joke. What kind of a person says something like that? Unfortunatly, they're all over in this craziness we live in. My lovely friend Jennie, too, is victim to stupid people. Ah, well.
Anyhow. I have a ton of drawing to do. Current Mood: contemplative
|Monday, December 1st, 2003|
I think the only time I write is when I have to complain about something...so in this case I'm gonna write cuz I'm avoiding my homework...and I'm in a good mood (other than it being fucking cold in here.)
I got the coolest compliment the other day from a friend of mine. I had to go to church with him and another friend of mine...and so I dressed up. (Holy shit, I put on a skirt and nylons!) Anyway, he told me that it was awesome walking in there with me because it felt like all eyes were on us...and not because I'm not a member, but because I looked great. Yay. That was a cool comment.
ooooh!!! I've got the coolest idea for Lynda for Christmas. I just hope I have it done by the time she has her baby...:) I told her I was doing it, but I've got a super cool idea to make it neat!!!!!!
Welp. Homework beckons. Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, November 27th, 2003|
I wonder sometimes if things should really bother me, or am I just being super emotional? I had a super-stressful day today and all my plans fell through...and then I got ditched by one of my best friends to hang out with someone else. Makes me feel...unimportant. I know the world doesn't revolve around me, but don't call me and tell me you're going to hang out with someone else and tell me I should get out tonight so It'll make them feel better.
Anyway. Tomorrow I drive over to Idaho. I can't wait to see my cousin...Need sleep...
|Tuesday, November 25th, 2003|
I should be working on my homework that's due tomorrow. I have a huge project due tomorrow and I haven't started. Tish, tish, I know.
Thing's are happening around here that have me...confused and giddy and all sorts of odd things. Just wish I knew what to do most of the time.
*sips coffee* I wonder sometimes when it's freezing out like it is today, why I still drink an iced mint mocha. Why, that's easy! They're my favorite.
|Friday, November 21st, 2003|
Time to update. School's going well for me, except for a stupid class I can't stand called Art Appreciation. It would be okay if we just took tests and talked about art, but since I'm in an art school, everything's got to be out there and the assignments are "do what you like with these stupid rules". I hate it.
Anyway, otherwise school's okay. I had to take dad to the hospital on wednesday because he had to do an operation to see what's up with his heart. Apparently the news wasn't good and he's got to have heart bypass surgery soon. One out of the three arteries around his heart is completely shut and the other two are following suit. They have to take veins from his legs and arms to replace the bad ones around his heart. I'm so worried. I'm so done with trials. I don't think I need to sacrifice another parent! The odds of him dying or having complications in surgery are slim...but he's 60 years old. How can they be sure? He'll make it, I think. He's optomimistic. He'll be bedridden for a while and I'll have to be nurse among all else around the house and things. I'll even have to take care of grandma. Thank god I don't have a job otherwise I'd have to quit to get through school and this. The surgery will be in December, before Christmas. My poor Dad. When are our trials over?
Anyway. I got to talk to my friend Lynda a bit today which was good. I love talking to her and I hope that I can go visit her in May when she's expecting her second little babe. I've even got back in touch with Wendi and that makes me happy. We may be different people but she was always a friend and I'm happy that we'll hang out a bit again. I was looking through Crystal's old pictures and there's so many pictures of Wendi with black hair and bright clothes. :) That's Wendi!
Welp. I'm goin' out with Ezra tonight to see a Hockey game! Yayeee!
|Friday, September 19th, 2003|
Jennie, If you hear from Joe...it's 9:45 and I haven't heard from him. Has he gone to your place? I figure he's gotten angry by now and probably left. He thinks I stood him up. Please, if anyone should see him, tell him I waited all day for him to call. Why didn't he call and see if I'd made it? I'm sorry. I forgot that my brother had the truck.
...anybody know how to reach Joe? I don't know the name of his land-lady and he hasn't called yet.
He's gonna be upset that I forgot my brother was to pick up the car today.
Should anyone talk to Joe before I do--I don't have a car this weekend!! My brother has it and I forgot last night all about that. I don't have any way to get there and no way to let him know that!!
|Thursday, August 7th, 2003|
Wow, I didn't know Joe was staying at Jennie's. He never tells me these things...although I suppose I can see why he doesn't. I hope he gets a job. I worry for him.
I guess it turns out that I don't have to quit...my boss asked me to work 2 days a week instead of four. I suppose that's a nice compliment...or maybe he's just trying to save money?
I'm glad...school and work are kicking my ass.
|Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003|
I just got this awsome bear that my friend Jennie made me! I absolutly love it!!!! It's red with little hearts...I'm calling it Shugie since all I wanna do is give it shuggies! :O) This is the coolest bear! Jennie should make so much money off of these. I've never had a little bear or anything that I hugged when I was sad...but this is so cool. THANKS JENNIE!!! I love the button eyes and the sew marks where she stuffed him. (It's now a him) So cool!!!
Anyway, I need to try and sleep. These pain pills for my burn are causing insomnia and I haven't been getting much sleep. I need to just lay down (with my new bear!!!) and relax.
So, that's where I'm headed.
|Sunday, July 20th, 2003|
So last wednesday I got rear-ended on my motorcycle. I was stopped on the hill turning left into my drive when I got rear-ended by some guy who wasn't looking because he was playing road games with some other dillhole. I went to the hospital that night with 2nd degree burns on my leg and neck pain. My bike's totalled. I've only had that thing for 2 months--if that--and it's totalled. Just because some guy was dicking around with someone else. I've been sick that last couple of days because it really affected my body! You wouldn't think that it would, but I feel like I got beat up! He was going about 30 mph--had to have been--because my chassey is bent! That is the main frame to my bike. *shakes head* *winces* I have to go to the doctor next week. I'm thinking of missing my class on monday because I just get so tired so quickly! I feel really stressed out. Why do things like this happen? At least I have my grandma's old car to fall back on. At least nothing worse happened. Current Mood: sad
|Sunday, July 13th, 2003|
Tomorrow is an important day for me because I start school at the Art Institute. Yay! I'm really excited and really nervous! It's in Seattle, down by Pike Place. I always said that I would never like to live in Seattle because it's so busy, and it turns out I'll be spending quite a lot of time there.
I haven't spoken to Joe in 10 days. I suppose he hates me now...he thanked me for giving him "closure". Although I knew it had to happen, I hate to see that it did. I care for him; I hope everything goes well for him and that his departure from the Navy is a good thing. I know I've made mistakes with him in our relationship...and I know he has as well. I hope that in the long run he can forgive me for being the stupid girl I know I am.
All I do is hurt people, it seems.
I'm not positive why I'm sharing this...I always regret sharing my personal life, but Joe says I need to "let people in".
Wish me luck with school and work tomorrow; it begins a very busy two years ahead of me. Current Mood: contemplative